11 Months!

11 months down, 1 to go!  How can this be?  Our little guy is definitely acting more and more like a toddler.  I can't believe how fast he's grown, especially these last few months.  Cal, he is such our little entertainer.

This month he has been ON THE MOVE.  He pushes his little elephant walker everywhere all.day.long.  He has figured out how to change directions with it in the last couple weeks.  Before, he would push it until he ran into a wall, then cry until we would flip it around.  Thankfully, now he will just walk around the side and take off again.  Yesterday, I swear he did this all morning until he napped, then all afternoon until he napped again.  Toys are useless to him right now unless he can use them to walk across the room!  It's the best to watch him giggle as he and the blue elephant chase me.  Though the elephant is his favorite "mover", he doesn't discriminate.  He pushes our counter stools, Elena's wheelchair, dining room chairs, ottomans, Elena's therapy equipment.  If he can push it, he will.  The Jackson Center is his little slice of heaven because there are approximately 10 walkers of varying sizes all lined up just waiting for him to take advantage of.  You can see him in action in the video below.  What a little wild man.

He has really developed a love for Pete lately, though I don't think it is quite reciprocated yet.  Cal loves to climb into Pete's dog bed, stare out the patio door with Pete, climb on him, pull his ears, poke his nose, jingle his dog tags and chew Pete's toys.  His favorite, well both their favorites, is meal time.  Cal often does a "one for me, one for Pete" routine with his finger foods.  The food barely hits the floor.  Just this week Cal started a less-hygienic way of feeding Pete by holding food in his hand and simply holding it out for Pete to eat out of his hand.  Then of course, this Pete slobbered hand goes right back into Cal's mouth...totally disgusting.  The other favorite thing Cal loves to do with his food is rub it into his hair.  The worst is avocado.  Green everywhere.  I guess this is probably only the beginnings of dealing with a messy boy.  Yay?

We've loved being entertained by our busy little boy.  Elena loves every noise he makes and often rolls with laughter at him.  He is often curious about her, especially her g-tube, which gives me nightmares about him getting hold of it...ahh!

I can't believe an entire year has almost passed with our little guy.  It has been so amazing to watch him grow and change.  I love watching his personality emerge.  He's brought us 11 months of pure joy and what a celebration next month will bring!

This picture perfectly describes their relationship at the moment (mealtime excluded).

His official 11 month photo, drool and all!

Cal's favorite thing to do at the Jackson Center

Hello Spring!

Today is the first official day of spring...hooray!  We have definitely been enjoying warmer temperatures here and are relishing in our ability to get outside without being bundled up from head to toe.  It's certainly been a LONG winter!

I've really been lagging with my writing lately.  To be quite honest, I'm not sure why.  The first three months of this year, and technically the last of 2014, have been really tough.  There have been lots of changes, adjustments and drama, quite frankly.  I'm not sure what to make of it yet so perhaps that's what is contributing to my lack of enthusiasm.  We'll see.  I'm holding out hope that spring will bring with it some sunshine in all ways possible.

One bright spot was that we were the honored guests of a breakfast yesterday at the Ronald McDonald House.  I've often mentioned how much we cherish this organization and all that it has done to help our family and thousands of others.  If you remember, we were the "feature family" this year for their big annual gala and participated in a beautiful video that documented Elena's story.  Well, yesterday was their annual breakfast with their board members, large corporate sponsors and some potential new ones.  We were, again, brought to tears by the video.  No matter how many times I've seen it, I still can't keep it together.  Chad was asked to say a few brief words.  I asked him on our way down what he was going to say and he said he would wing it....spoken like a true salesman.  Well, let's just say he brought the whole room to tears.  Us included.  Men and women in suit and ties were all choking up and dabbing their eyes.  It was pretty great to see.  We have been so grateful for our experience at the RMH and consider our ability to share our story such a huge blessing.  It never fails to humble us to see the way it touches others.

On the way home, I mentioned how strange it seems that this happened 3.5 years ago.  Sometimes it still feels so raw but other times I find myself forgetting there was ever a "before".  Having watched Calvin grow, develop and change this last year has been a constant prickle on our hearts.  Our love for our children is immeasurable but seeing the differences in Elena and Cal has been tough to swallow at times.  It has made me often wonder what Elena would be like had this never happened.  For a moment, I can almost picture her running around the room, playing with her brother.  But, mostly that image is too painful and I have to snap back to the present.

That will likely never go away.  I just have to remind myself of the different joy that Elena and Cal will bring us.  And the continued inspiration and softened hearts she will bring to whomever hears her story.  God willing, we will be able to share her light for many, many years to come.


Image from the RMH Healing Heroes Breakfast

10 Months!

So February is gone, we're looking forward to March and what happens?  A foot of snow welcoming us today.  We're snowed in, no church and a little cabin fever is on the agenda for this snowy Sunday.   Cal has been generous with his snotty nose, so we're anxiously awaiting to see who falls next.  The bright side?  The new season of House of Cards couldn't have been released at better time!

Snow and snot aside, our Cal-boy is 10 months old!  Um, I'm pretty much going to be spending the next two months on Pinterest trying to plan his birthday.  Ah!  How can this be?

Cal is busier than ever.  He started taking steps behind his elephant walker this month.  Though, his real favorite is using the kids' walkers at the Jackson Center.  His favorite toys continue to be wheelchairs, standers, walkers and Elena's orthotics.  This has resulted in many a goose-egg on his forehead.  He is definitely getting more confident on his feet but still prefers his "turbo crawl".  By this I mean, he can crawl the length of our house (which is quite a long stretch) in under a minute.  Good thing he has chubby knees to give him some padding on our wood floors!

Cal still loves babbling, eating, random screaming and making his sister laugh.  He has discovered clapping his hands and can wave pretty sweetly.  His favorite show is Wheel of Fortune.  He will sit still for the entire 30 minutes staring at the TV, though like most of us, grows impatient at the commercials.  We took him sledding for the first time and found him to be quite unimpressed.  He maintained the same expression from top of the hill to the bottom.  Sledding and snow aren't too exciting for him.

He is growing much too quickly.  Chad and I say nearly every day that we wish he would stay this little and cute forever.  It's such an adventure to watch him change and explore.  That, and watching him interact with Elena has been a joy.  She LOVES him and hardly ever minds when he pulls her hair, sticks his finger up her nose, pokes her eyes or crawls on top of her.  Everything he does is funny to her.  It's pretty great.

Speaking of Elena, she's doing really well.  The results of her hip surgery have been awesome.  She is still gaining strength but her balance, posture and movements have all improved.  The three months of surgery and recovery were certainly a challenge, but she is SO much better off.  Elena also got to go sledding this month.  We rigged up a sled for her to be able to go by herself, and she loved it!  It's so special when she can do things independently.  I see many more years of sledding ahead of us!  We also started her on a new formula, hoping it will improve her reflux.  So far, we have had good results and are praying this may be the answer for her frequent vomiting.  It's required a few more less convenient steps for us, but if it saves me from cleaning up projectile barf every other day, it will be well worth it!

I'll leave you with some pictures and a couple videos of our two crazies.  Life is still proving to be a bit hectic and stressful around our house with all we've had going on this year.  Chad's Mom has improved, so thank you to all of you who have included her in your prayers.  We just try and take things a day at a time, and relish in our little joys.

 Our sledding crew:  Brennley, Cal, Elena, Amelia & Huddy

 Me & my mini man-version

 Exciting trip to Target

 Discovered the dish washer

 No caption needed

 Beach Day at school with 3in of snow and negative degree temps....

Cal's 10 month picture sans his sticker which has been lost!

Elena sledding!

February in Indiana

Guys, life just really stinks sometimes.  I ask myself all the time when did I get old enough to experience adult problems?  Oh man, if I could just tell my 20 year old self how easy I had it.  Sure I cried over boyfriends and the "she said what about me?" drama, but if only I knew how silly that all was then.  Being grown up is full of REAL life problems, REAL life heartache, and REAL life decisions.

Currently, I want to shake the hand of someone who is experiencing a relative calm in their life.  It'd be great to ask them what it's like and how great it is to make it through the day without your heart breaking over something in your life or in someone you love's.  If it's you, just take a hot minute and give thanks for your moment of peaceful life.

Throughout the past three years of blogging, I've definitely written about peaks and valleys.  After all, isn't that what life is?  A series of super-great highs and series of super-tough lows?  I'm a long way (fortunately) from the deepest of my lows, but I still dip from time to time.  What's great about coming out of a low (besides that you're coming out of a low!), is that you're blessed with a period of reflection.  You don't gain perspective by everything being awesome all the time.  Valleys strip away every superficial thing we use in our life to cover the ugly and show our true character, who we are at our core, what truly matters to us.  They humble us.  They laugh at the control we think we hold in our lives.  They often bring us to our knees.

Listen, I'm not saying that I'm thankful for having to experience that valley.  I'm definitely not saying I want to experience it again.  But, I am thankful for it renewing my relationship with God.  I am thankful for the strength that I gained.  I am thankful for the deepening of my relationship with Chad.  I am thankful for the new compassion I have for others who have to walk through deep valleys.  And I'm thankful for how it changed me.  When you're in one, it can be pretty bleak, pretty dark.  But, there is always hope.  Hope for when you get through it.  Hope for what happens after.  Hope for what the grander plan may be.  Remember my little ant/tapestry analogy?  That always helps me visualize hope when I need it.

I will say, though, I'm ready for a peak.  Or heck, I'm ready for a plateau even!  I'm ready to be reminded of the good and happy in the world.  I'm anxious to shed the heartache I've been carrying.  I guess there's just not much to be joyful about in February in Indiana!  Except for maybe these guys.....

 

Surviving

I'm not going to lie.  2015 is off to a rough start.

Chad's Mom, our Nana, has been bravely battling Stage 4 breast cancer for five years.  In mid-January her health took a sudden decline and Chad spent three of the four weeks of January in Florida caring for her.  By the grace of God, I survived single-momming it for three weeks.  Last week, they decided he could best care for her here.  So, we've finally got her settled up here just five minutes from our house.  But, man, things have been tough.

Cal was teething and sick for about a week, and now Elena has been sick.  Sick kids are tough.  Like the toughest, most exhausting, patience-testing thing ever.  I have been cleaning up barf about 100 times a day for what seems like a month...Calvin, Elena and yes, even Pete.  Some days it feels like my purpose in life is to clean up puke, do laundry with everything puke/poop-covered and change diapers.  That can certainly wear on a person. (Pun intended:  I literally have "worn" puke every day for a month)

Morale in our house has been pretty low at times.  Chad and I are doing our best to keep up with caring for everyone who needs us.  My sweet husband is carrying the biggest load, caring for his Mom, the kids and me, when I melt down.   Thank sweet Jesus for Chad.  He is always the glue that hold us all together.  We would be a mess without him.

Thankfully, today, Elena is on the mend.  I'm praying I don't fall victim next.  Chad asked me this morning if I needed anything today.  My reply?  A trip to Mexico next week.  Since that's not likely happening, I'll be content that the sun is shining today and our babysitter is here so I can aimlessly wander the aisles of Target for an hour.  It's the little things, guys!

Cal hiding from Mom

Elena and I did some baking while she was sick!  They're cooking at school this month so we wanted to try it at home too.

9 Months

Our Calvin is nine months old!  It's so hard to believe we waited nine months for him to arrive, and we've had the joy of getting to know him and watch him grow for that same amount of time.  I can't even begin to describe the happiness, smiles and love he has added to our family.

At nine months, Cal is definitely on the go.  He getting super quick at crawling.  He can practically crawl the length of our house (which is a realllly ranch) in a flash.  I think he's really enjoying this new "freedom".  His favorite, though, is to stand and hold on to whatever he can find.  He pulls up on our counter stools, Elena's wheelchair, Elena's stander, the ottoman, our patio doors, my legs!  Everything!  Just in the last week he has started to move around these objects while standing too.  It's so fun to watch him figure out how to get around.

His new sound is "go-go" and "ga-ga".  He loves saying "go-go-go-go".  He'll clap his hands and practice all his new sounds.  So far he's saying "go", "ga", "ba", "na", "da-da" (Chad's favorite), "za-za" and "sssss".  He does the last two bearing his cute little teeth.  With his growing vocabulary, I'm still anxiously awaiting that beloved "ma-ma".  He's holding out on me!

Calvin's still growing like a weed.  He's totally in 12 month clothes now, though he is thinning out a bit now that he's on the move.  He is 21lbs, but getting so tall at 31.5".  Chad's holding out hope for continued height and can't wait to start him doing basketball drills. :)

He's still such a happy boy and really easy going.  He makes Elena laugh every day, which I can already see boosts his confidence, hah!  Cal's sweet and snuggly and is so fun for me to watch.  I love seeing him grow and change.  It's hard to believe that I'll be planning a first birthday in just a few months.  For now, I continue to savor all these sweet baby moments with him, because I know he'll be a toddler before I know it.  We love you Cal-boy!

So Proud

Many of you saw the video I posted on Instagram and Facebook yesterday of Elena walking at the Jackson Center (for those that didn't, I posted it in it's entirety below!).  She's had such a great week that has given me renewed hope in our goals for her.

 Life with a special needs child can be so discouraging at times.  We enthusiastically celebrate every millimeter of progress.  Even the smallest of achievements can encourage us as parents.  This is because Elena has to work so incredibly hard for everything, things that most parents could never comprehend.  She works harder than any three year old ever should.  You see, we celebrate the fact that she had open hands during a task, not clenched fists.  It's a victory when she can hold her head up for 30 seconds while sitting or standing.  We whoop for joy when she can knock over a set of blocks in front of her.  We celebrate, because after three years of watching her, we understand the effort and coordination it takes for her little mind and body to cooperate.

For nearly two years, we've been watching her hip deteriorate, seeing her leg lengths become uneven, making it even MORE difficult to sit, stand, and especially try and take steps.  Surgery on a special needs child is scary for lots of reasons, but mostly because the fear of losing progress.  Seeing Elena fight for every inch makes it devastating to see her have to relearn something that's taken three years to achieve.

This past week at the Jackson Center, just eight weeks post-surgery, has renewed our hope.  Elena is doing so great.  She's finally returning to her normal self (and SLEEPING!!!!).  We're seeing great results from her hip surgery, legs are the same length again, easier balancing while sitting, gaining strength in her left leg.  All these things, while they seem small, can and will be HUGE for her going forward.

I'm so, so proud of my sweet little girl.  To see her take steps again brings my heart so much joy.  She's learning so much and loving every minute of it.  She's the best example of courage and determination and I'm just so darn lucky to be her Mommy.

Here is the whole video (I just posted a few seconds).  This gives you a better idea of how much effort it takes for her to take each step.  But, seriously, the squeals are the BEST!