Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Quick Surgery Update

I wanted to post a quick update on how Elena's surgery went today.  We had so many messages from all you who were thinking and praying for us today.  Each one of them meant so much.  We are continually amazed at how much love and support you all show for our girl.  It definitely made our day easier.

Mom definitely shed more tears than Elena did today....not surprising though! Honestly, the toughest part of today was saying goodbye and watching them roll our little girl in a big hospital bed away from us.  Once we were through that, the rest of the day went very quickly.

The surgeon was very pleased with how everything went.  He injected dye into Elena's hip to get a better picture of what was actually going on.  The good news, rather great news, was that her hip wasn't as dislocated as the x-ray made it appear.  It's definitely still a major issue and her hip socket isn't developing correctly, but thankfully, it's not as bad as we had originally thought.  He went ahead and released her tendon and did another round of Botox.  Hopefully, this will help continue to buy us time.  Elena has been the real champ.  She's barely fussed all day and continues to amaze us with her ability to gracefully endure.  All in all, Chad and I were very relieved and happy with how the day turned out.

So, thank you, thank you, thank you for all your prayers today.  They are so appreciated, more so than you can imagine.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Prayers for Tomorrow

Tomorrow is surgery day.  Ugh.

The last couple weeks leading up to this have been nerve wracking.  I can feel the apprehension rising with each day.  I'm filled with dread knowing that I'm putting my baby through something that's going to be painful and that she won't understand.  It's awful.

Then, there's the constant back and forth in my head whether we are making the right decision or not. Logic says yes, but it doesn't lessen the internal struggle.

I've just been saying a hundred little prayers a day that we're doing the right thing....that this will help....that pain will be minimal....recovery will be quick....that she won't wonder what's happening to her.

So, prayers are welcomed today and tomorrow and the rest of this very long week.  Our calendars are cleared for the week, which will be a struggle in itself, since we're used to a series of therapies every day.  Here are some specific requests:

-Surgery goes smoothly without complications
-Pain is minimal
-Mom & Dad's nerves and guilt
-That this surgery will be successful in slowing the dislocation of her hip
-That this surgery won't cause any regression in her physical abilities
-This round of Botox injections will again get great results
-Recovery will be quick and we can get back into therapies by next week

We easily remember how your prayers sustained us when we were in the hospital with Elena.  So, thank you for thinking of us this week and sending up a few prayers.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

My Apologies!

My darling husband called me out last night.  And he was right...for once!  He casually mentioned that I hadn't been blogging very much lately.  I mumbled some excuse to play it cool but it did get me thinking...and obviously got me writing.  So, my apologies for the lapse in blogging!

For the most part, I'm getting used to this gig.  I am finally starting to get glimpses of what Elena's life, what our lives, will be like.  Looking back to two years ago, leaving Riley we hadn't a darn clue.  We were still praying that it was all a bad dream.  We were still hoping that she'd be the same once she got off her meds.  We were still pleading with God that she would be completely healed from her terrible injury and be the Elena that we knew.  Well, she is still the Elena, on the inside, that we knew, but her physical and mental challenges will forever continue to be great.  But that's ok.  I'm learning to navigate this life.  And I think my lack of blogging, especially my deep down, soul-bearing blog posts are a result of that.

I have struggled for SO.LONG. with the why's, with the anger, with the despair, with the longing for a "normal" life.  I now understand that no matter how mad I am or how sad I get, will any of this change.  For a long, long time I never thought I would emerge from the wilderness, from the darkness that surrounded us, but it finally feels like we're coming through.  It doesn't make anything easier.  It doesn't make Elena's struggles better.  It doesn't make my heart hurt any less for what she'll continue to endure.  But it does allow me to focus on the present, on watching our baby grow into a little girl, on having the privilege of watching her little personality shine through her physical challenges.  It allows me to live.  Most of the past two years have been spent going through the motions, learning every day what our family will face, and hoping for a different outcome.  I'm so ready to be over that.

Elena's challenges are always going to be there.  When one seemingly gets better, inevitably something else will pop up, but loving her just the way she is and giving her the tools to navigate the best we can through these challenges is our only job.  God has really used the last couple months to show me so many of blessings he has bestowed upon my life.  Really, without all these blessings our situation would be immeasurably more difficult.  Through all of the bad, God has given us so much good.  All of the times I couldn't muster the faith to believe we could make it through this, He never left me and gave me just the smidge of hope to cling to get me through.

Now, don't get me wrong, there are still bad days.  There are still going to be a lot of bad days.  I'm never going to be free and clear of the hurt.  I'm always going to wonder what life would've been like had November 3, 2011 never happened.  I'm always going to wonder what Elena would've been like, to watch her run, to watch her jump into a pool, to go down the slide all by herself, but it's just going to be different for us.  For now, I'm just content that the struggle and the hurt aren't running my life every day.

Mouseketeers have BIG ears!

My happy girl.

She's just the sweetest!


Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Catching Up

So I've been meaning to blog almost every day for the last two weeks, but the days are getting away from me and I'm just too darn tired in the evenings.  We have some catching up to do!

We're trucking right along.  Elena continues to thrive at the Jackson Center.  She is officially over the "cry for the entire three hours because I don't know any of you" phase, which is a relief.  We've seen such a boost in her head/trunk control since she started.  All the extra therapy is paying off.  It's great for her socially (she has a very "special" friend in class, who happens to be a boy) and I get great reports of her achievements each day we are there.

Our house is FINALLY coming along.  We exited the long, very long, design phase a couple weeks ago and our contractor has officially started work.  It's been really exciting to see the progress each week.  And though, overwhelming, picking out all our finishes has been fun.  It's great to see it all come together.  We have many months left before we even can think about actually moving but we're making progress!

Now, to the not-so-exciting news, Elena is having surgery at the end of the month.  Ugh.  It's awful.  Being a parent can be really tough sometimes, but having to decide to put your daughter through a painful surgery where the results aren't even guaranteed, really ranks up there.  I would give anything to go through this for her.  The doctor will go into her groin and cut one of the three tendons that attach to her adductor muscle.  In theory, it's should ease the tension in her left hip (that is likely causing her hip to dislocate) but the doctor can't give us a guarantee that it will do anything.  It is really just a shot at slowing down the dislocation in her hip.  Barring a miracle (which we will CERTAINLY be praying for), Elena will have to have the most horrible, no good, awful surgery in a few years when she's older.  We left the meeting with the surgeon pretty discouraged.  We agreed though that we have to give Elena every chance we can to keep her hip functional and without pain.  My poor baby.

Needless to say, we'll be needing some prayers over the next couple weeks.  Say a few especially for her little hip.