1st Birthday!

I'm struggling to believe that my little baby boy is turning ONE today!  It's hard to remember that a year ago today, I was enormous carrying a 9lb. 7oz. Calvin.  What a special day that was.  We knew our lives would be changed, but how this boy has blessed our lives this past year, we never could have imagined.

Calvin has been the best kid from day one.  Sure, we've had our moments, but overall he's been a dream baby.  He's a great sleeper, a good eater, and the most easy-going little guy.  He has happily gone EVERYWHERE possible with us this past year.  He's tagged along to every doctor appointment, therapy session, equipment fitting and errand never having a meltdown or protest.  It hasn't always been easy, but he's made the transition to two kiddos the easiest he could have.  I'm SO thankful for his personality.

Even though we had to work overtime to get him to smile initially, he loves to smile, giggle and ham it up at every chance.  He's a busy boy who loves to play and move.  He pushes his elephant all over this house, maneuvering around every piece of furniture with ease.  Just like his sister, he thinks most silly noises are hilarious.  And fittingly, we've officially determined that his first word is "achoo".  If you know our family well, then you'd know that sneezes are a a big deal around here.  Elena giggles uncontrollably any time anyone sneezes, so appropriately Cal now says "Achoo" and laughs, proving this sweet little guy is a perfect piece to our family!

What a special boy you are, Calvin Merrick!  We love you so!!

Our Cal-boy had a Cowboy theme party

His new wheels

Walking for Dreams

You may remember this post from last year.....we were able to raise over $2000!!

We are thrilled to be participating again this year in Walking for Dreams to benefit The Jackson Center for Conductive Education, a place where Elena has continued to thrive.  As many of you know, Elena has been part of this rigorous therapy program for nearly two years.  The Jackson Center has become so much more to us than just a place for Elena to achieve.  From the very beginning, we have been amazed at the progress Elena has made and managed to find a community of families to be part of.  They understand our struggles, our joys, our hopes and our dreams for our children.  

The Jackson Center has given us the confidence to believe that Elena is more than a child with special needs.  We believe she is capable of far more than even we, her parents, give her credit for.  One example is potty training.  From Elena’s very first day, they began potty training her, something we had never even given thought to.  Now, two years later, Elena has started going on the potty, giving us the hope that she can achieve this area of independence for herself.  The Jackson Center introduced us to the wonderful doctor who operated on Elena’s hip.  Without this doctor, we would have been forced to proceed with an unthinkable operation that would have severely limited Elena’s future mobility.  It is because of the hope the Jackson Center has given our family, and many others, that our family is asking your help to raise money through Walking for Dreams.  

Walking for Dreams is an annual family walk that benefits both the Jackson Center and Elena directly.  Every cent of your donation will be put towards Elena’s therapy regimen and help her continue to make great strides.  If you would like to support the Jackson Center and Elena, you may donate to our team via the following: 

• Donate online at www.walkingfordreams.org.  Click on "Donate," Select "Individual Walker," then choose "Hinton, Elena.”

• You may mail a check to the Jackson Center  – Walking for Dreams. 

Please be sure to include Elena's name in the memo line if you mail a check. 

(802 Samuel Moore Pkwy., Mooresville, IN 46158)

  

Your gift, no matter what the amount, will help us achieve our goal.  More than that, it will give Elena and all of her friends at the Jackson Center a greater chance at independence.  Most importantly, we are so thankful for your continued love, support and prayers.  It is because of those things that we are able to get through every day!   

Love, Chad, Emmalee Elena & Calvin Hinton 

Stepping Through the Struggle

Cal is getting pretty close to walking.  Like most parents, this immediately fills me with excitement and nervousness.  But unlike most parents, my nervousness is for a different reason.  I'm not afraid of what he'll get into or stressing about having to chase him around.  I'm afraid of what I will feel.

The other day, I was holding Cal's hands and walking him around the room.  I burst into tears at the ease my 11 month old was taking steps with his Mom helping him.  I can't help but ache for the effort, concentration, coordination and difficulty my almost four year old has at this very same task. I encountered this heartache back when Cal was around four months, but I'm finding it all resurfacing again.

Not only is it heartbreaking to watch one child surpass the other in ability, but it makes me so angry to finally understand what it is that we missed sharing with Elena.  Before Cal, we would watch other kids Elena's age grow and change but it seemed so distant from our reality that we couldn't understand how much we were truly missing.  But now with Cal, it is so real.  I'm furious that the first year of her life was misery.  For all of us.  We were dealing with so much stress, grief and fear.  We still loved her immensely but we all missed out on the happiness of that first year of life.  When I compare the pictures taken of Elena's first year and Cal's first year, the difference is undeniably sad.

I'm so thankful for how far we've come and the progress Elena has made.  I have been there for every inch of progress, cheering her on in my annoying Mom voice.  We have giggled, cried, clapped, smiled and played with her just as we have Cal but, oh, it is so different.  You realize the deep human connection eye contact gives you. You realize how your heart bursts when your child reaches for you. You realize how sweet it is to see your child look and smile at you when you walk in the room. You see how miraculous it is to watch your child develop on his own without hours upon hours of difficult therapy. You realize how silly it is to sweat over a fever when you've seen your child on life support.  So many things have changed our perspective since Cal came into our lives.  I can't help but feel blessed and robbed all at the same time.

I volunteered in the Kindergarten class yesterday at church and my heart shattered into a million pieces when I got home.  Just seeing all the little girls in their Easter dresses twirling around was more than my heart could bear.  I can't begin to describe the hurt that opens up when I'm reminded what my sweet Elena will never be able to do.  Some days more than others I realize just how different our life is from everyone else, the struggle we carry, the strength we must have, the heartache that consumes our soul.

I've come a long way since Elena's first year of life, but I would be faking it if I said my head and my heart weren't still processing everything every single day.  There isn't a day that goes by that I wish November 3rd, 2011 never happened.  I'm so proud of Elena's resiliency and how far she has come but man, it still hurts.  I knew these feelings would happen and I know they'll come and go.  But I know watching Cal take that first step will be so bittersweet.